Sophie has lost 1 lb, between 12 to 18 months. Janie has to, but it is hard to tell exactly how much, because of the casts. He said I should give them some pedia sure, beni fiber instead of juice. They are just small girls Janie is 18 lbs 12 ounces & Sophie is 19 lbs & 1 oz. They only grew 1/4 of an inch, taller.
Can I just say I am so tired of people's comments, example: You need to feed them more - believe me if they'd keep down the more that I try to give them, it'd work. Feed them healthy food, no junk - all my girls eat is healthy, fruits, veggies and such, very little to no junk. They are the healthies kids I know, food wise. All kids are picky eaters at this age - these girls are the non-pickiest eaters I know, that is not the case.. I get these comments from people I know, people that do care. I get them from people that don't know us. I get them from doctors and the most hurtful, even my husband.
My husband for the most part has no clue, as he doesn't have much day to day interaction with the girls.(they go to bed anywhere from 15 min - 45 min after he gets home from work) But he wants to play everything off as nothing to worry about. Like I am trying to make big deals out of nothing.
I am just so tired of carrying the weight of it all on my own. And I am so tired of taking all the blame of it all on myself. Yes, I put some there and others are more then free to put it there on me as well. I feel like I receive blame for everything and most of it is not my doing, I have no control, no say over anything, but yet it is my fault.
And I am frustrated, that I take it all upon me, I take what others have to give. I let others do basically whatever, with no thought for my thoughts or feelings, I have no say, nothing I say matters, nothing I do is good enough, what I say isn't any good until someone else says it. I mean I take everything and do what I can, but I don't receive any thank yous, no considerations. Which is no big deal, except when it comes to the people closest to me. The ones that it matters most. I just want to feel loved, valued, appreciated, like even every once in awhile my best is good enough. I want to feel that I am wanted for more than just mothering and you know.. I want to feel as if he cares enough to take a moment and send me an 1 sentence email, reply to me on facebook, send me a message on facebook, actually call me from work every now & again, buy me a candy bar, a magazine, a little note when I wake up, actually go to bed with me every once in awhile. I don't feel like I ask too much, I feel like I give these things to him, I feel like I give him positive words and qctions to know I am thankful and I care, beyond the bedroom. And he'd probably get ,pre bedroom time, if I got any of these things just because he wants to or even if he only does it because I enjoy them. Without expecting somethng in return.
O'kay I have totally had a tantrum on here, but I needed to get these things off my chest. ttyl
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